GOLDEN NUDITY FIVE - Another top-flight post.

*No, this will make no sense at all by this time tomorrow. Oh, this will be my entire front page, won’t it?

*So the first of the Keaton dvds out is Industrial Strength Keaton from Mackinac Media. I saw this sitting around in stores already, and I’m dumbfounded as to why the actual contents of the set (it’s two discs) aren’t listed on it. Here’s everything on the official site. There’s actually two full features - the first is Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, from 1931 and MGM, the studio that really didn’t know what to do with Keaton after stripping away his creative autonomy. Here he’s plopped down into a fast-talking screwball sex comedy; he’s actually not too bad, adapting decently to the demands of the subgenre, but there’s no question that he’s not flexing his most pertinent creative muscles. It’s actually a pretty decent example of its type, so long as you aren’t expecting the magic of vintage slapstick. The other feature is a 1935 British film, An Old Spanish Custom, made on the cheap at the absolute blackest depths of Keaton’s alcoholism (he did some time in a sanitarium around the same time). I’ve not seen it, though almost everything Keaton does winds up coughing up some interest - there’s also commentaries on each film, which are apparently very good.

And that’s not even the real heart of the package - the ‘Industrial’ pun in the title refers to Keaton’s work in industrial film, and there’s three of those here, regarding cameras and home ownership and other things. Usually these dry commercial productions were on the lookout for flavoring, and talents like Keaton were allowed more room to devise their own routines and gags than they’d get in any actual film of the time, especially considering a fellow like Keaton’s then-advanced age (we’re talking ‘60s stuff here, which puts Keaton in his late 60's). Plus, there’s a load of television commercials, live skits, and rare short films - a goldmine of late-period stuff, and all of this comes after the guy had cleaned himself up. I bet it’s especially good for those of you (like me) who enjoyed the Keaton Plus disc of later miscellany that Kino put out. Only $24.95!

*Even Jon can’t resist making fun of that glorious revelation of a musical performance. At least he didn’t steal his jokes from me this time. I know what you’re doing Jon - I can read the writing on the wall.

*A tiger! That would be a superior stuffed animal.

*They could just extend this production art display to an hour, slip in Robert Altman, have Jon read off the winners like lightning, toss the statues into the crowd, and that would be the show. Oh hell, and I just finished talking about how good it was that everyone was on stage. What is this? Anyway, Memoirs of a Geisha wins Art Direction, racking up another award. The speech is very emphatic and genuine, and sad. The orchestra does not cut the speaker off.


*Ah ha ha ha haaaaa... at least Jon Stewart is still on message. He’s doing all right now.

*Aaaaand, movies are aiding in New Orleans too! They’re everywhere! Wheeeee!

*A medley of Best Original Score compositions appears, and it’s nicely understated and modest (or at least as modest as one can be when the violinist is dwarfed by a gargantuan video screen). Brokeback Mountain wins the trophy, and the winner (Gustavo Santaolalla) thanks him mom.

*Also an ongoing motif - DVD WILL NEVER KILL US! There IS NO SLUMP and the big screen will reign supreme! Look at all of these Big Visuals, on your Small Television Screen, which will probably only convince you that they work, and egg you into buying more dvds and staying at home. I certainly hope Jon mentions this... no, just a montage joke.

*Sound Mixing. King Kong. Are they flying through space, or is the stage spinning around in the night like the Gravetron ride at the county fair? Maybe it's snowing outside, but no flakes can cool the heat of the action on stage? Editing of Sounds. Ooops - it turns out I have a friend in real life and he appeared at my door to talk about the local music scene. I missed the award. Er...