Oscars: Volume II

*Huh. Hope the misspellings don’t bother anyone. I’ll fix it eventually!

*King Kong wins something. The Ben Stiller jokes were pretty good! Everyone should wear a beautiful costume.

*Well everyone, just to clear up what's happening, it’s Oscar night tonight here in the old USA, which means I’ll be settling down with a big bowl of popcorn and searching for/creating entertaining (or not) live blogging on the show rather than watching it with all of my heart. Because goddamn is that thing painful, and I’m not expecting Jon Stewart to dull the hurt very much, and he really didn't deliver in that opening bit, not that I expected him to - when you’ve got that big an audience in front of you, everything gets a little weaker, a little less sure. Yeah, there’ll be a few interesting moments - there always are. I’ll be sure to tune in when Robert Altman takes the stage; that’s probably going to be some fine entertainment.

The most entertainment, however, is definitely going to be tomorrow, after Crash triumphantly takes home the big gold and every contributor to every movie-centric message board and blog on the internet explodes into a frenzy of shuddering revulsion, bile pouring out of their bellies and down their chins and dripping onto their keyboards as ten thousand scores of poison words ascend into the online ether, the proverbial clouds parting as these razor darts of electronic invective invade the heavens and scourge the waiting flesh of the gods. Granted, I haven’t actually seen Crash for myself (and I have no plans to), but I’m certainly not recalling a recent film that received so much praise upon its release and so quickly - practically within a pair of weeks - was torn from its pedestal online and trod upon by so very many. The stampede continues today.

*The bow ties on the animations winners (Wallace & Gromit) are pretty fine. They are the first nominees for my fashion awards. They will be handed out at the official after party. Everybody is on edge and panting.

*The massive, looming columns behind Dolly Parton are scary - it looks to me like an ambitious yet immoral gladiator is about to tip one over atop her, thus securing the kingdom's throne for himself. I like to imagine that the crowd is actually singing along. Hoooo woooo, wooooo woooo... CUT TO PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN! That would be so incredible.